YOU got me, I have already posted this, but I felt like its time to rehash my list of ’10 times it’s just OK in your 20s’ – except this time I’ve added to it.
A lot has happened since I first wrote this list: I finished my MA, ran the GNR, lost weight, got cancer – you know all the normal stuff we get up to – and though many of them are triumphs I can’t help but feeling a little lost lately.
But, I decided that feeling lost was OK, feeling too old or too young was OK, that detesting being called a millennial, but being glued to modern technology is OK.
Hey, it’s OK…
- to be a millennial:
You were born in the late 80s/early 90s, no outing is complete without a selfie and everything feels like you’re being treat a little unfairly? You likely fit into the infamous ‘millennial’ bracket. It’s OK, my dad was a baby boomer and I have friends who are Gen X – but just because you were born into this time doesn’t mean you fit into the stereotypical attitudes of millennial. Older people may not get how you live and act, but remember, people likely didn’t understand them in their time. Just enjoy your life your way.
- to have two jobs:
Mortgages are expensive, life, is expensive. In fact so many things in life are expensive after getting used to the days where you’d get money every few months at uni. So don’t be embarrassed, just think of the ultimate goal.
- to not have a job:
My god, it is not easy to get a job in this economy – it’s even harder to get one you really want. Don’t be embarrassed, just give everything you do 100% and no one can ask for anymore.
- to have moments when you feel old:
I don’t only work with people younger than me, but I volunteer for a charity that works with teens age 16-18. Even though they’re not terribly younger than me, the moments they have no idea what pop idol or Spice Girls are truly daunts on me, when TFI Fridays came back they had no idea and the fact they do not understand the Abfab memes you post is, at times, horrific, but remember you are not old and you may have friends in their 30s+ now who will not find it acceptable to call yourself such!
- to be confused about people’s expectations of you:
I’m in my twenties and engaged, but sometimes when I tell people they’re like ‘oh you shouldn’t be settling down at your age’ then sometimes when I’m ridiculously hungover after a mega night out can get ‘you’re not a uni anymore, maybe you shouldn’t be doing that anymore’ (in my defence it is rare I go out!) but I’m left with a feeling of sheer confusion at what society thinks I should be like in my 20’s – see complete no man’s land! There’s no right or wrong answer here, I’ve decided that I’m not old and if I want to go out I can, but I’m also not a child so if I want to settle down I can – best of both worlds please!
- to not be where you’d thought you’d be by now:
Ask me where I’d be at my age, when I was 14, I would have said living in LA, money in abundance, married to Orlando Bloom (but I was nice enough to let Miranda Kerr have him), an Oscar (or two) under my belt and have a best selling book and album – all completely realistic if you ask me. But, as we grow what and where we want to be does. I don’t want this life anymore, but I’m not unhappy with where I am, but if you are, don’t fret, you’re still young – keep focus and go for it.
- to not be able to handle your drink anymore:
Whether you went to uni or not, you like spent from the age of 16/17 + drinking at 6th form parties, freshers, work-do’s, your 18th,themed nights out at uni for three+ years – it’s a lot of intense drinking in short. So if your hangovers don’t fade by Sunday afternoon, fear not, you are not alone!
- to not be at your ‘goal weight’:
We all have insecurities about our bodies, but stop setting yourself weight goals! Set maybe a pair of trousers you had at 19, or a dress for a wedding and work at it until it fits- I’m so sick of things like slimming world giving women (and men) weight targets and them people feeling like a failure because they haven’t reached it.
- to not have a steady boyfriend:
Carrie Bradshaw didn’t get married until her forties! OK, she’s no role model, but if you want to settle down, go for it, if you want to have a string of boyfriends, go for it, you want a ton of one night stands go for it, you want to be a single free person, go for it. You’re in your twenties, the world of sex and love is your oyster.
- to still be a little resentful of those school bullies:
I know, I know; forgive, forget and move on and all that. But, be honest, you see someone on a night out that used to bully you for your hair or weight and you know you look cracking now, you can’t help but feel a little smug and hope they see you? That’s OK, we’re only human! As long as you’re not a twat about it, it’s fine!
- to still live with your parents:
This could come down to expenses, being ready, or any other reason really. Sometimes it’s a pain, but contrary to some books we read not all 20-something-year-olds are living it up in owned city flats. Fear not you are not alone.
- you’re not doing what your degree was in:
Let’s be honest chances are the moment your graduate you won’t automatically get a job in your chosen degree. It may have been that your degree was just a first step in your career or you may do a complete u-turn. It’s OK, because you’ve got plenty of time to work it out.
- to be where you want to be:
Some people know where they want to be and some, are exactly where they want to be – and just because there’s a confused bunch out there, it’s OK to be happy!
- to feel a little lost:
Being in your twenties is not a crystal clear time, whatever point you are in your life you may just feel a little lost in general. When I got cancer I felt lost – my health became my priority, but all these plans I made and wanted had to take a back seat. Meaning when times came up where I’d had something planned I felt lost. I would sit and think: why am I doing this? But, whatever positive reason I came up with, I felt lost. But it’s OK to be lost at times, it means you have a purpose to find a direction to go in and that’s a new adventure.
I’d love to know what you’d add to this list?