IF you guessed from the title this post is going to be about body shaming, and you’d be right to guess that – because it is going to be about body shaming, the body shaming I was the victim of.
Body shaming really bugs me, yes because it happens all the time, but also because the some people who openly cry out against it, I can pretty much guarantee, have looked at another woman and, in her head, slagged her off.
This is because we’re all insecure. We are, it’s true, whether you’re a size 8 or size 18, we’re all insecure, to some extent. And to some extent, we all act like a bitch at points.
Now, I’ve lost two and a half stone since November 2015, I’m 8st 1lb, and I imagine a lot of you may be thinking: why the bloody hell is she going on about body shaming?
To answer you, because, I was body shamed.
Recently, I went to visit a friend in Birmingham, and, since losing weight I’ve chucked a few of clothes – or rather donated them to charity- as most of my clothes over size 8 are too big for me and I really wanted a nice knit cardigan.
I saw one in a shop, in size 8, it was exactly what I wanted, expect, when I tried it on, it was huge. It would’ve looked ridiculous, even as oversized. I thought: they’re probably just big sizes.
So I went up to the shop assistant and asked if they had it in a six.
Her answer made me livid.
She said: “No, we only do clothes in real women’s sizes.”
When the f*cking hell did she mean by that, I thought. And honestly, I pretty much told her, in a very Cumbrian manner, that I was a real woman – at least I’ve been pretty sure for well over 20 years and my straight fiancé is sure too. I told her I was going to report her attitude and terrible customers service and she could shove her ‘real women’s sizes’ up her arse.
It reminded me of a post that said: men prefer curves, not skin and bones. They maybe do, but any man who wants me will have to prefer naturally sticky out ribs, that do my head in, and hips that are curvy and bony because they protrude forward – I’m all a bit awkward really.
I think it’s awful when bigger women get shamed for being bigger – it proper annoys me. But, there seems to be a double standard that people think it’s ok to shame smaller or thinner women.
If a bigger woman was told what I was, it would’ve made Cosmo’s and Glamour’s headlines. But it seems ok to say to women who are small, that they shouldn’t be.
But, it wasn’t the only time this has happened to me, it was was only the other week, on Facebook someone put a post about having rolls when they sit down – to which I replied: I do, everyone does-just about. The response I got was this: this person had more rolls than me and I could do with some more rolls. What? I work really hard to minimise mine, thank you – and, to be perfectly honest, I actually have loose skin on my tummy from losing weight I could live without, that, I’m sure, make some rolls when I sit.
When one person noticed I’d lost weight they said: you need to eat more, you.
I’m no stick, nor do I want to be, I’m pretty healthy and an ideal weight for a women who’s scraping 5 foot 1, but I work really hard, running 4 or 5 days a week to stay healthy, even when I got cancer, and to stay body confident(ish).
I also eat alright too. I have coeliac disease, so it can be difficult- so to that man who said, have a Big Mac, I’d love to, but I’d, quite possibly, die. But, If people saw some of the rubbish I eat they’d understand why I need to run.
It didn’t really occur to me, I had been body-shamed that is, until I told my fiancé about my experiences.
When I experienced these things it really hit me: I’m not even that skinny, I would say I’m just one of the many healthy sizes for women of my height (that could probably do with eating less chocolate) and I wonder how women who are like naturally very skinny feel about being told these things?
There are women who are naturally bigger and women who couldn’t gain an ounce if they tried – both are genuinely beautiful!
I think it would be so disgusting to tell a bigger woman that she needs to ‘hit the gym’ and ‘put that burger down’ – it’s her prerogative how she leads her life, so why is it ok to tell me or a really fit and skinny woman ‘you could probably do well missing a run or a gym session’ or ‘eat a bloody cheese burger’.
I understand there are women with eating disorders of all kind – but would we be really helping them by telling them they’re not a ‘real woman’ because they’re skinny?
I’m sorry this has been a rant, but women of all shapes and sizes don’t deserve to be body shamed. Just because someone is skinnier this does not entitle someone to say she is too skinny or ‘not a real woman’ – as, let’s be honest, would you tell a woman who’s size 18 shes ‘too fat’?
You wouldn’t dare, because: 1, she’s not and 2, you know it’s wrong!
I wanted to share this because it upset me that body shaming of any kind appals me – I’m not going mega feminist with ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ but, I am a real woman and so is every other woman out there and that’s the bottom line!