Fifty shades of shut the f*ck up!

I went to see Fifty Shades of Grey…

[Go on, get the judging out of the way and we shall carry on!]

Yes, I went to see the film everyone’s been dying to see, now honestly I wanted to know if it would annoy me as much as the book, i.e if it would be as blooming shocking (and not in the eroticly shocking way, in more of a ‘omg real people don’t think or say these things’ way)-  it didn’t, so there’s a plus, as frankly the books were badly written, the characters genuinely annoyed me to the point I would be shouting a the book! Why didn’t you stop reading it I hear you ask? Well, because I just can’t start a book and not finish it same goes for a book series – hint why I never started reading Sharpe.

Now this isn’t a review of the film, if that’s what you expected – this is a review of people, more to the point, people that went to see this film.

I remember when Harry Potter came out as a film, I was so excited because I loved the books, lo and behold, I love the films to. Twilight came out and, ok, I didn’t love the books, but I expected more than a pouty terrible actress and a guy that looked constipated for 2 hours straight. We all have our own expectations when our favourite books get made into films, but we must remember a film can only do so much and chances are it won’t take you exactly to the world your imagination took you too. We must go in with as unbiased a mind as we can and try and remember the director can’t make a film just for you – they have their own limits (ooh kinky joke to do with he book/film)!

My response to people whinging about the film content!
My response to people whinging about the film content!

So when I saw people whinging about Fifty Shades I wasn’t surprised, I expected it to be awful, basically because Jamie Doran doesn’t look like he could beat his way out a paper bag, never mind that girls arse (still true in the film unfortunately) – but they weren’t whinging because of the acting quality, like myself, they were whinging because they didn’t put in the amount of sex that there is in the book and because they didn’t ‘show’ enough in the downstairs department, if you get my drift – Though I saw more of Dakota Johnson’s nipples and un-waxed area than I needed to, to be fair!

I’m sorry, you can have expectations, but with erotica, you’re not going to get the same on the screen as you will in the book – or your own mind. If they went looking for that, they want porn, at that point just get porn!

I mean I don’t even get what people are complaining about, there even is a porn parody of Fifty Shades – ok the acting is worse than in the move (I assume) but that’s seems to be what people were expecting.

But that just won’t happen, especially not in British cinema where our last screening was at half past eight in the evening!

I can put up with so much, but really – you want full on, buy porn, you want the story, read the book, you want the film interpretation, watch the film. But for god sakes, at least complain about the acting, and the fact E.L.James, sorry lass, but your books badly written….

Would you all like to know the worst thing about this whole situation? I kinda want to see them make another film – oh the shame!


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