So, I’ll start by apologising for being completely AWOL from the blogosphere, but I’ve been very busy, writing a novel (not yet finished), being an editor (A LOTT OF HARD WORK!), working out (beach bod here I come!), playing with needles (I’ll explain later) and realising I met my chap half a decade ago today, and his ex is still mental (The latter bothers me a lot less than I though it would – she’s kinda like hay fever, rearing it’s annoying-ness at inconvenient times, but you plough on and forget about it!)
Five years, half a decade and nearly (though far less nearly than I’d like…) a quarter of my lifetime – that is how long ago today I met my Fiancé.
I’ve explained before how we met in My Early Valentine so I won’t go into it.
But it’s crazy, as I sit in Starbucks I think back to the time I had my nerve-induced panic attack, today four years ago because it was pretty much the longest I’d ever had a relationship last, and today I expected another wonderful dose of reality to hit me and make me feel nervous or queasy, but instead I’m happily sat here, tea in hand thinking of where we’ll be in another five years. Thinking if where we’ll be in 25 years, like my parents had before my mum passed or 50 years like my Grandparent’s had before Grandad passed – well, hopefully, there will be neither of us passing for a long time, and no crazy ex’s when we’re 80!
I’m not panicking because 1) I’m not 18 anymore worrying about whether I could possibly make someone happy for that long. 2) because I’m learnt to deal with the crazy ex in a ‘smile it off and don’t listen’ way – and in genuine hope she’ll not still be going at 80! And 3) because I’m happy because I think of this future stuff all positively – not in a settled way, but in a butterflies-in-the-stomach way, I still get them – though for weird different reasons now; like wedding planning, talk of mortgages and children (Though don’t get me wrong, all these separately can send me into tremendous stress-induced panic attacks!).
When I used to think about relationships 4 years ago, five years seemed like a lifetime – but it’s not! Ok, yes, it’s half a decade, nearly a quarter of mine, but it’s flew in – in the best way! I still remember clearly thinking he was the hottest guy in the room (I still do!).
And to leave you with a very cliche line – Five years is a huge milestone, in a very long and wonderful road!