Oh the lies we tell…

I had intended to do a blog post about English Language Day, however as interested as I was about this, I have the unfortunate situation of being in need of a new car, so have had to take a bus to work; and this is where the digressing from my original topic really began.

I was “fortunate enough to get a seat behind two boys, no older than 16 (turns out they were as one of them said “Nah mate, as only 16” – and what a grammatically correct way he said it…)

Even Presidents do it!
Even Presidents do it!

I also had the pleasure of hearing their conversation about the previous weekend, even with my headphones in. The conversation was just average until I heard one go “Oh yerr, I proper sh*gged her… Liked loads eh.” – I thought, ‘what a load of bull’ and carried on listening to music to try and drown them out. The next thing which I caught was one of them talking about walking home in the dark, his friend joked he’d get mugged, to which he replied “Nah mate, I’d beat the crap out of like up to four lads who’d try and mug me” – to which I thought, ‘You look like someone who would have more trouble beating his way out of a paper bag than Jamie Doran in Fifty Shades of Grey…’

Now, I could’ve been wrong, he could’ve been the next Karate Kid for all I knew, but that wasn’t what I was laughing at. I was laughing at the things kids say to each other to almost play ‘my horse is bigger than yours’.

We’ve all done it. Back in the playgrounds at Easter, saying ‘I got 5 easter eggs’ to which your friend replies, ‘well I got 6!’. Then when you’re ten and your bestie says she’s got an eleven-year-old boyfriend, and automatically “yours is twelve. But it seems we still do it as we get older, we’re all still those kids at heart. Whether you’re a sixteen-year-old boy who says he’s slept with his girlfriend at a party, because none of his friends have. Or your in your twenties and you tell your friends about a new job and suddenly, they tell you about their new promotion.

We all want to feel like we’re doing better than at least one person. However, it just made me laugh at the fact these people may not be lying, that boy might be able to beat up four guys twice his size, however it’s that need to voice it to feel better, that goes right back to when we’re kids and talking about how many birthday presents we got in comparison to someone else.

It took me a long time to realise that we don’t need to do this, but of course we all find ourselves doing it at some point – just hopefully we’re a bit more subtle and less exaggerated than those 16-year-old boys on the bus.

Plus to go back to English Language Day, well, all I can say is – bloody hell, I know I talk a bit colloquial and, well, Cumbrian sometimes, however, some kids just need a lesson or two from Prof. Higgins!

P.S if you don’t get the Pygmalion reference, well you’ve missed out on a right classic!


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