Today has been what my Mam called ‘A Fur Coat Day’:
A day in which one simply must wear their fur coat (Or your very best glam coat) for the world to see!
There was always three different reasons to have a ‘Fur Coat Day’: 1)It’s feckign freezing, 2) To look incredibly posh, as my Dad would say and 3) To gain uber elegant and glamorous confidence!
The reason I had a ‘Fur coat Day’ was because today was my first day of directing a piece for our Musical. Not just any piece, the opening number of the Musical. I did say I wanted to do it, but I never thought I’d feel the pressure, like I did today. Frankly I needed the uber glamorous confidence and it was fecking freezing.
I’ve directed before, young people, kids in schools, but never people my own age or older. Which was frankly harder and easier. Harder because I personally don’t like to dictate to those in the same position as myself that are also my friends, and easier because these people are my friends and are willing to listen – where kids can be a bit more challenging! (to say the least!) – Plus this is a full company; one or two, brill got it covered. Ten-plus: God help me!
I knew I was going to need a hand today, so I did a cute up-do, high-waist skinnies, ballet pumps a cropped jumper and of course, my AH-MAZING vintage fur coat! – It was my Mam’s in the 80’s, she love but passed it on to me a few years ago now and every winter it get’s whipped out to keep me warm and give me the confidence I need!
I’d already prepped what I was going to do, but as soon as I got up there: absolute stage fright! Me, with stage fright! I stuttered, stammered and was certainly not as cool as the other side of the pillow about it!
I made my way through half the piece, and managed to come in to my own, with a little help from my friends (pardon any pun!)
But after a quick break, a fur coat indulgence and a strong coffee, I knew what to do and managed to gain some confidence in my own decisions! Which I’ve realised is the problem with a lot of things I do – I need to have confidence in the decisions I make and commit to them. Like I was once told: “If you’re going to be shit at singing, be loud and committed to how shit you are, then someone will be able to hear you need help, instead of shying away.” Not sure why I only just realised this applied to myself as I was telling this to kids I directed all bloody summer!
Now I really can’t wait to swagger in to rehearsals with my fur on, ready to be a proper director – without worrying I’m going to be seen as a dictator – because I WILL have confidence in the decisions I make and will make mistakes, but at least I made them with confidence, and didn’t just wade through unnoticed!
With anything confidence is key and we all gain it different ways; but I guess for me it just had to be a ‘Fur Coat Day!’